Why me? Why now?

A funny thing happens when cancer is diagnosed: You question everything. You wonder if it was the smoking, the drinking, the partying, or was it really just genes? Did stress play a role? Could it have been the financial struggles, the arguments you had, or was it overworking and not enjoying life enough?

The more I researched, the more I learned that the answer to all those questions was: YES. It's probably all of those things.

"Why this person at this time with this disease? Disease has meaning, it is not random. Find the cause, physically, chemically, emotionally."– Dr. Neil McKinney, BSc., R.Ac., N.D. (from the book "Naturally There's Hope")

There really is no "one reason" for being diagnosed with cancer, but rather a combination of factors that triggered something in the body to switch on and act out. The body starts to send little messages that go unheard, and you keep going like a machine. Then the mind gives up, and the body follows.

The switch turned on, and the body wasn’t being heard – so it needed to send a bigger message. And we heard it, loud and clear. It’s just too bad that something like this has to happen for us to truly listen.

The "Everything" Trigger

We realized that cancer isn’t caused by just one thing, but a culmination of many. That meant we had to fix a whole bunch of things to get through it:

• Clear the body of toxins

• Support the body with good nutrition

• Find calm in the mind

• Align body and mind energies

• Fix financial struggles

• Make "work" a minor priority ("Don't live for work, but work to live")

• Be true to yourself, your feelings, and past issues

• Fix our relationship as a couple

Rebuilding "Us"

The last one was the first one we worked on, and it happened naturally. He needed me, and I needed him. We always loved each other dearly, but life got in the way. I admit that there were times when I looked forward to him being away for a few days – it pains me to say that. But honesty is part of the healing process, and through this journey, I had to be honest with him and myself.

You will always question "why", but you need to move on to finding more positive and healing answers. Don't get stuck.

I embraced him more than ever, became his pillar, and gave him the support he needed. There was nothing more important than getting through the rough days of learning, researching, appointments, and uncertainty. It was scary. But I wanted "us" to be the foundation upon which everything else would be rebuilt. I needed him to trust me, to lean on me, and I truly believe that this trust was essential for him to start looking within to heal the things that I couldn’t fix for him.

The Emotional Component

I think men hold a lot of emotions inside. They don’t speak as freely as we do – at least, that was always the case for Kevin. His family, although seemingly close, never really was (in my opinion). There were a lot of unresolved issues swept under the rug. Conversations were always met with, "Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it," or "I'm okay, everything's good." But deep down, I knew this had to change.

A family member shared a book with us called "What's in a Tear? The Purpose of Cancer" by Paul Leendertse. It resonated deeply. It discusses the many reasons for cancer, including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual factors. What struck me the most was the idea that cancer is intertwined with emotions and mental well-being – something rarely talked about.

The author has a website that delves into these ideas further, and if this resonates with you, I highly recommend exploring it. It can open up a whole new world of emotional connections you may need to resolve within yourself.

Deepening Our Connection

With this newfound understanding, we started having deeper conversations. We spoke about our fears as they happened (so important!), how we felt about each other, and what we needed from one another. It helped us end each day feeling more connected rather than lost in the unknown.

Kevin embraced every possible alternative. And finding QiGong and Meditation helped calm the mind. Find your "thing" – the one that will give you calm.

To realign his body and mind, Kevin tried Qi Gong – and he appreciated it. His body responded well, and it became a morning ritual. I had been practicing Qi Gong for 10 years, but doing it together made it "our thing." During the summer months, we cycled to a nearby park by the water and practiced together. When it got colder, we moved inside. And when our local yoga studio started offering Qi Gong again, we joined as a couple – it became our Friday night date night. Doing things together again felt so good.

Kevin also started meditating daily. He took to it much faster than I did when I first started nearly a decade ago. While I would get distracted by the smallest noise, he slipped into it effortlessly. During his treatments, he meditated every morning, on the train, in waiting rooms, and even during his IV sessions. It was beautiful to see.

Nourishing from Within

Fresh, organic juicing became a natural way to support the body – right from the beginning. It was something positive to take on. So we did.

From the moment we suspected something was wrong, I started juicing for Kevin. We adopted the motto "nutrition power" and fed his body with highly potent, nutritious juices every morning. I sourced the best quality greens and citrus fruits. I became a juicing master, ensuring he was consuming cleansing, detoxifying nutrients. Alcohol was gone. Late-night cheese, crackers, and cereal? Also gone. It wasn’t easy for him, but we were all in.

Finding "Your Thing"

We don’t truly know what the exact trigger for cancer is, but we do know that how you respond to it matters. Our new practices helped us cope with the stress, uncertainty, and decision-making process. Kevin wasn’t sure if he wanted to follow through with radiation and chemo, and these practices gave us a solid foundation to navigate those choices.

I believe everyone facing this journey needs to find "their thing" – something that grounds them, uplifts them, and keeps them going. Positivity and enlightenment are all you have to hold onto in times like these.

May you never stop searching to find your thing.